Oncogonogo!

Bristol seemed surprisingly normal yesterday, I expected to see less people, more space between them and the signs of them taking care.  I didn't see this at all.  To be fair, I was back on the Oncology outpatients floor but I would have expected even more precautions there at such a time.  Jezz and I sat rather too long in an (admittedly quiet) outpatients area watching the Comins and goings of people and their germ spreading behaviours.  We made a game out of all of the Consultant names on the board, our favourite was Dr Comins in Room 4, we were desperate to hear him/her ask someone to "come in", we were like 12 year olds stifling giggles, I shook my head and bit my lip when a nurse asked me if I had seen a missing patient I just wanted to say she had been asked to "come in" to room 4.  I am re-counting this only because we have come a long way since the 2nd January, sucking on wine gums full of pre-consultation fear. The situation has normalised amidst the least normal circumstances I have ever witnessed.  I am a civil servant, I want to be able to help not to have to sit and watch from the sidelines, it is really frustrating.

Our appointment was with a new consultant, Jeremy who works in both NHS and Private settings and who is the principle investigator for the Optima trial in Bristol.  The long and short of some very difficult deliberations is that I am now having tumour samples sent to the US who will determine from a combination of genomic tests and physical characteristics of what is already understood, what my risk of recurrence is on a particular scale.  This will INDICATE how likely Chemo would be to influence my 10 year prognosis.  It is thought that only 30% of those with my type of cancer actually benefit from the chemo anyway so there is a good chance that I could have a low recurrence score and statistically not need it.  This of course is all brand new science but the oncology community seem to be trusting it more and more.  In the current environment, and in a room full of Dr Jezzes it was considered a no-brainer that I should get the sample out there ASAP because having Chemo I might not need during this monstrous pandemic would be both dangerous and stupid.

Not doing the trial for the greater good and going private do not really reflect my beliefs, however, these are not normal times.  I have a raft of admin to arrange to enable the sample to be sent out to the US but we expect to be able to see Dr Jeremy again in c.3 weeks to decide whether to progress with Chemo or not.  If I don't I will still have Radiotherapy and endocrine treatment which will involve fully switching off my ovaries (they were pointless anyway🙄) and up to ten years of hormonal drugs to stop any cancer cells in my body from being able to capture any oestrogen which might still be left circulating in me.😬😔

Another wait now ensues, my wound is healing well and I am regaining some decent movement in my arm and shoulder.  The seroma (fluid under the skin) which spreads from my scar up into my armpit is causing some tightness in my breathing and discomfort but the breastcare nurses are reticent to drain it again so I am trying to live with it.

The good news is that I am not "high risk" in Covid-19 terms for the time being as even if I have chemo now it will be 3 weeks away so I am able to be "normal" for at least a week!😁👍